


Crash Landing

by RussellEppLeppel



Category: Firefly, Serenity (2005)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-24
Updated: 2019-03-24
Packaged: 2019-12-06 19:17:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18224336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RussellEppLeppel/pseuds/RussellEppLeppel
Summary: It's amazing what kind of stuff you can find going through an old hard drive. Say for example, a slightly embarrassing Firefly fanfic you wrote freshman year of college after watching the series for the first time. I remember that at time I wrote it, I didn't want to do anything with character growth or major plot developments, because it would feel disingenuous to the source material. Basically I wanted to write a filler episode, so I did.





	Crash Landing

**Author's Note:**

> It's amazing what kind of stuff you can find going through an old hard drive. Say for example, a slightly embarrassing Firefly fanfic you wrote freshman year of college after watching the series for the first time. I remember that at time I wrote it, I didn't want to do anything with character growth or major plot developments, because it would feel disingenuous to the source material. Basically I wanted to write a filler episode, so I did.

Serenity sat half buried in a sand dune, black smoke trailing from her stern after an emergency crash landing on the desert moon of the planet Osiris. On the bridge, Captain Reynolds called his crew to gather around him.  
“Okay folks,” he began “the good news is we’re all alive. The bad news is that we’re pretty much humped every other way. The explosion ate up most of our fuel, so I want Zoë to head into town with Simon and River and see what they can get. It’s about thirty clicks away, but you can make it there and back in time if you take the mule and don’t dawdle. Kaylee, inspect the engine and see what you can do. Wash, same goes for the helm. Jayne, Shepherd, and I’ll grab a couple of shovels and start digging us out of this mound of sand. Right now, Inara’s meeting with a client on Osiris. She expects us to pick her up in forty eight hours, and in forty eight hours and thirty minutes we're scheduled to deliver goods to some very punctual clients of our own. The planet's forty two hours away at normal cruising speed. That means we’ve got six hours to get up and running. It’s certainly not good, but we’ve pulled through worse just this past season. Get to work people.” 

Serenity’s emergency arrival did not go unnoticed though, and her wispy black tail acted as a beacon for a pair of motley marauders. The two had escaped their past lives as mudders on Higgin’s moon for a glamorous new life of crime. Each was clad in a beige ghillie suit, and one carried a high power hunting rifle slung over his shoulder. His partner bore an automatic weapon. Slowly they poked their heads over the edge of the sandy ridge and peered at their quarry. Mal, Jayne, and Book took no notice as they toiled under the unrelenting sun to free the ship.  
“Whoa, is that Jayne Cobb?” The man with the rifle asked.  
“The hero of Canton? Nah, couldn’t be." His partner said. "Jayne’s gotta be taller than that. These guys a good mark?”  
“Sitting ducks.” Said the man with the rifle.  
“Heck, we could tag ‘em right here.” She agreed.  
“No, not here.” He objected. "Look at the sun."  
"What about it?"  
“It's in front of us. The glint off my scope could give us away. We’ll attack from that dune over there.” He pointed to a hill on the opposite side of Serenity and the duo shuffled off.

The trio continued their digging unaware of the lurking danger, and after some time Mal headed inside to check on Wash and Kaylee's progress. Entering the engine room, he encountered the mechanic, just finishing up her inspection.  
“What have we got?” He asked.  
“Our secondary aft exhaust port is clogged with shrapnel from the explosion, the primary steering servo's completely stripped, and the port gas coolant compressor is leaking through a pin hole in a weak spot the size of my fist.” She reported, holding up an oily fist for comparison. “That could lead to catastrophic engine failure if we try to start up any systems.”  
“Okay, now can I get that in English?”  
“We can’t steer, she's got 50% thrust capacity at best, and the part that keeps the engine from overheating is so busted up that if we try to turn the engine over it’ll cause a massive fire that will kill us all painfully. Oh, and you want me to fix all that with nothing but duct tape, elbow grease, and a little can-do spirit.” Kaylee huffed.  
“Yep. Better get started.” Mal nodded.  
“But Cap'n-” She started to protest.  
“I’m not asking you to make her like new. We just need to get off this moon and planetside.”  
“Aye-aye, Cap'n.” Content with his faith in her abilities, Mal left for the cockpit to check in on Wash next.

Leaving a trail of dust in their wake, Zoë and the Tams arrived in town and approached the nearest filling station to inquire about fuel. The man inside sported a worn straw hat and a wide gap in his front teeth.  
“We been fresh out of juice since some sonuvabitch bombed the refinery a few weeks ago. That means y'all're shit outta luck unless you can find some way to make yer boat run on crude, ‘cause we got more barrels of that than we know what to do with now. Heck, this whole damn moon’s core is nothing but. Now, y'all're welcome to ask around at the other stations, but they’ll tell y’all same shit I just did.”  
“Oh, well thanks anyway.” Zoë replied with stoic resignation, and they turned to leave.  
“Now hang on a moment. Seems like y'all’re in a hurry to get somewhere and I’d like to help ya. I still got a few barrels in the back room, but they won’t be cheap.” Zoë exchanged a glance with Simon and shrugged. Their clients had paid half in advance, so they could afford the precious commodity.  
“Very well, we’ll take them.” Zoë conceded.  
“He’s lying” River muttered. Simon, Zoë, and the salesman all stared at her. “The refinery is fine. He’s just low on fuel. He’s trying to scam us to make up for it.” With that revelation the trio left for a different fueling station. 

Book and Jayne finished digging, and Mal returned inside once again to check on repairs while the two stayed on guard. He talked to Kaylee first.  
“Well I ripped out most of the shrapnel clogging the exhaust port, and turns out it was actually from the exhaust control vents." She said. "So we can’t control our thrust or our speed at all without directly regulating the fuel input, and we’d have to bypass Serenity's onboard computer to do that.”  
“Hang on a minute, most of the shrapnel?” Mal queried incredulously.  
“95%. It’s all I could get without taking her apart. Now, I caulked the compressor hole and bolstered the weak patch with I-dunno-how-many layers of duct tape 'round the whole thing. It ain’t pretty, and it won’t last, but it’ll work as long as I can adjust the gas valve to direct more coolant to the undamaged starboard compressor.”  
“Good work, what about steering?” He asked.  
“Thankfully, it’s just the brass collar that’s stripped. It's a device designed to keep you from ruining the more expensive servo itself. This means I only have to take out the collar and attach the steering shaft directly to the servo-“  
“Shiny!” Mal interrupted.  
“But because it was made to fit with the collar in place, it’s around forty five centimeters too short.” Kaylee continued.  
“Gorram it.”  
“I removed some square tube from refrigerator in the galley since we don’t have anything to keep cool anyway and I can cut it to length, but it’s aluminum.”  
“So?”  
“So it’ll bend if we put too much strain on it.”  
“But, she's essentially working again?”  
“Yeah, so long as we can manually adjust fuel consumption to control speed and avoid any sharp turns we’ll be good.”

Zoë and Simon were talkative as they returned from their run with three barrels of fuel.  
“You’d think they wouldn’t have to nickel and dime you if their entire moon is made of petroleum.” Simon complained.  
“It’s basic supply and demand.” Zoë replied. “We make the demand, but they control the supply.”

Wash poked his head out from under a removed floor panel in the cockpit as he bypassed the computer. “While I was down there loosening up the computer’s hold on the fuel regulator, I came across this.” He said, holding up a large electrical fuse. “It’s the main power fuse. It’s designed for overcurrent protection, but the amperage it would take for that baby to blow is unachievable with any power our engine’s putting out, ‘specially right now.” He handed it to Kaylee, who continued to explain.  
“Like the servo collar, all this baby does is break and muck up the system, but unlike the collar, we don’t even need it. They only throw these things in so the vehicle can pass inspection. Just letting you know we're taking it out. Oh, and I also realized that since the fridge is non-functioning anyway, I can take out its compressor and connect it to the engine coolant system to help out.” 

Outside, the two marauders had finally moved into position. The sniper trained his crosshairs on Jayne, who lay shirtless on the roof, sunning himself with a piece of reflective sheeting. Just as he pulled the trigger though, Jayne shifted and lowered his reflector. The light bounced off it, momentarily blinding the shooter through his scope. A bullet ricocheted off Serenity’s hull, and Jayne sprang to his feet drawing his revolver. Despite wearing sunglasses, he still had to shield his vision with his other hand. By the time his eyes adjusted, both attackers had vanished over the hill. He picked up his walkie-talkie and buzzed the captain.  
“Uh Mal, we got trouble out here. Big trouble. Bring Vera.” Book and Mal emerged from the cargo hold toting guns as Zoë and the Tams returned on the quad.  
“What’s going on here!?” Zoë asked.  
“Don’t know.” Mal replied as he tossed Vera up to Jayne standing on the kitchen roof. Zoë drew her rifle as Mal pulled his pistol and Book scanned the horizon with binoculars. Simon tried to drive their fuel into the hold, and a hail of gunfire opened up, striking all but one of the barrels before he got them inside to safety.  
“Bah! I can’t see anything with the sun behind them!” Book shouted angrily.  
“And they’re dead silent when they ain’t shooting.” Jayne added.  
“Wait!” Mal exclaimed. “Simon, River can find them. She’s done it before!”  
“Are you crazy!?” Simon shouted back, punctuated by a volley of gunfire.  
“Can everyone just shut up for a moment!?” Jayne yelled. Zoë covered him with her rifle as he slowly craned his neck skyward and flared his nostrils, taking several terse sniffs of the air.  
“They’re close… _real_ close.” He muttered as he loaded an explosive round into Vera. He muttered to himself “Ruttin’ mudders.” And with that he quickly leveled his firearm and shot the top of a nearby dune. It exploded in a shower of hot sand, and the sniper hiding just behind it was blown back, dead. His accomplice sprung to a kneeling position and trained her gun on Jayne. Zoë spun on her heel and put two rounds in the woman’s chest, and the crew ran inside their ship.  
“Okay folks,” Mal said “We’ve only got forty gallons of fuel, so we won’t be flying so much as throwing and hoping we hit the target.”  
“Uh, Cap'n” Kaylee interrupted. “Serenity’s engine’s more efficient at higher speeds.”  
“You heard her, Wash; floor it.” Mal ordered. 

All was well for the next day and a half, but before their arrival Wash had to call Mal to the bridge.  
“You see that up ahead?” Wash asked. “That’s an enormous geomagnetic disturbance.”  
“Can we avoid it?” Mal asked.  
“We do have some fuel left in the tank, so I can course correct after changing trajectory, but landing could get interesting if we don’t any gas left.”  
“Can we afford not to avoid it?”  
“Not really." Wash said. "And sooner’s gonna be better than later.”  
“Then why did you call me in?” Mal asked rhetorically. With that, Wash gave the helm a hard jerk, Serenity shuddered, and she listed lazily to the right. Mal grabbed the com off of Wash’s control panel and buzzed the engine room.  
“Uh, Kaylee, what was that?”  
“Did you just try turning real hard, Cap'n?” Kaylee asked.  
“Well technically that was Wash…”  
“Because you just bent the steering shaft.”  
“ _Wuh duh ma huh tah duh fong kwong duh wai shung_.” Wash cursed under his breath.  
“Gorramit.” Mal bellowed. “At least it’s not the compression coil catalyzer. I don’t feel like getting shot again.”  
“Uh, captain.” Wash interrupted. “Based on our current trajectory, we’re still still gonna hit that asteroid in about ten minutes.”  
“Kaylee, you hear that?” Mal spoke into the com. “You’ve got nine minutes to find a wrench and manually steer.”  
“I can’t manually steer _and_ manually adjust fuel intake.” She replied.  
“Wash, can you do anything from up here anymore?”  
“Not really.”  
“Then get down there and work the fuel… thingy. Kaylee, you’re in charge.” Mal called up Jayne next. “Jayne, get down to the engine room in case Kaylee needs help steering.” 

Despite the crew’s best efforts, a trip through the storm was still unavoidable, and everyone just had to sit tight and hold their breath. Just as the end of the maelstrom was in sight, Jayne let out a sigh.  
“Well that coulda gone worse.”  
“We ain’t outta the woods yet, Jayne.” Mal reminded him, and as if confirm that point, a massive shock shook Serenity and everything went black. There was a moment of silence.  
“Wash?” Mal asked.  
“Yeah?”  
“What the hell was that?”  
“If I were forced to hazard a guess, I’d say we got hit by a stray lightning bolt, and it blew out the onboard computer.” Wash hypothesized.  
“I thought you said nothing could do that.” Mal remembered.  
“I said nothing the engine was putting out would do it. Lightning is definitely not covered by that.”  
“So what have we got?” Mal asked, doing a preliminary assessment of the issue now at hand.  
“Nothing.” Wash revealed. “No engines, no life support, no nav, no com in or out.” With that, they broke through the charged clouds, light poured into the cockpit, and the already large planet grew steadily bigger in the windshield at an alarming rate.  
“So, how we gonna land?” Jayne asked, worry audible in his voice.  
“Hmmm. Good news is that we won’t be fighting gravity, bad news is it’s gonna be interesting.” Wash said.  
“How interesting?” Zoë asked, entering the room.  
“5% chance of survival?” Wash speculated. “I mean we’ve got no engines, no fuel, and no steering, and we’re coming in so steep we’ll probably burn up in the atmosphere.”  
“All of those repairs just blew up in our face.” Mal lamented.  
“Blew up in our face…” Zoë pondered. “Mal, our cargo is mining charges, right?”  
“Yeah…?” Mal replied warily.  
“Would the client rather get all but one, or none at all?” Zoë asked.  
“I don’t follow.” Mal said flatly.  
“Just get everyone in the cargo bay.” Zoë commanded. 

Within two shakes of a lamb’s tail everyone had gathered in the hold. “I’m gonna talk fast, so listen fast, because we don’t have much time.” Zoë began. “Everyone get a wrench and tear down this scaffolding. Use some elbow grease if you gotta. We’re gonna bolt it all back together into an arm and duct tape one of these missiles to it. It’s not gonna be easy, but we can do it.” With that, they hastily constructed a metal branch with an explosive payload at the end of it and positioned it outside the ship through the cargo bay door. Osiris grew steadily closer, and everyone departed in nervous silence. Jayne retrieved Vera for a second time and trained his sights on the missile.  
“Jayne, don’t shoot until we break atmo.” Zoë reminded him. “There won’t be enough of a shock wave without the air.” They both stared intently at the barometer she had taped to the arm next to the missile. Its needle moved little by little until reaching .4 atm.  
“Good enough!” Jayne fired one shot directly into the payload, and the explosion rocked the small ship and jarred it to the right. Serenity was now approaching at an angle shallow enough that she likely wouldn’t be destroyed in entry, but they still had to steer. The Tams, Wash, Kaylee, and Book flew in the remaining shuttle with Wash at the helm. As Serenity approached the ground, the shuttle stayed by her side, nudging her in one direction or the other until she touched down on the surface of a deep lake, skipped across it like a stone, and crashed nose first into a tall dune on the shore with a loud crash. The shuttle re-docked, and everyone convened in the cargo bay.  
“Kaylee, Wash.” Mal began. “Get to repairs. Zoë, load the mule.” And with that he tossed the keys to her and a pair of shovels to Jayne and Book.


End file.
